Remember this when you call for change in your life...
Updates, revelations, reminders, dreams
Dear Readers,
Below I give you a quick update on where I’m at, remind you about upcoming events, and open a discussion about our Pisces Season Dream project…
I started my PhD in my Death Card year. When the tarot was created in 15th century Italy, the Death card was often called the Nameless Card. Death was the unknown, the place beyond the veils, beyond language, a place of which we could not speak.
I think of the Death Card a lot right now as I move through my doctoral program at UCLA. What I’ve learned is…
…when we call out for change in our lives, we don’t get to say: “I want to change in this specific way...”
Remember this when you call for change in your life.
The major teaching of the Death card is to show up with curiosity rather than a will to control the outcome.
Change is bigger than us. It has it’s own mind. It knows things you don’t. When you change, be open to changing in ways you didn’t expect.
What I didn’t expect of the change that’s happened to me so far is…
I didn’t expect how much my experience at UCLA would radicalize me. When you see gross misuse of power up close, you can’t unsee it, and then you wonder how you could have gone so long without seeing it when it’s been there the whole time.
I didn’t expect to become so confused about how to speak publicly about my practice. My thinking has become much more nuanced and rich, but I’m only just barely beginning to fathom how I can share my discoveries with my community here (let alone on my socials) because social media doesn’t tolerate nuance. I feel like I’ve matured so much in a society where maturity is not valued. Where maturity is unseeable amidst all the noise.
I didn’t expect my understanding of magic (witchcraft, the esoteric, astrology and so on) to shift so drastically. Magic is a beast that has outgrown its skin, it needs to molt. Magic has the power to be revolutionary, to change us on the deepest level. But it can also be used as a pacifying and reactionary force, which I do not want to participate in. However, magic as an emancipatory practice requires time, slowness, dedication, rewiring, which is the opposite of the reason why many people come to it today (for a quick fix). I love magic more than ever, but I see what it is calling for and haven’t quite figured out how to answer that call quite yet.
I’m still in process. However, I feel like my darkest days in school are behind me. The ones where I lamented, “What the actual fuck am I doing here???” I moved through my Death card year, even through my Temperance year, and now am in my Devil year.
And the Devil is the greatest teacher, she who calls us to our greatest awakening.
More from me soon, on the New Moon.
Love,
Amanda
Attend to Us: Reminders of Upcoming Events
Dark Moon: Give offerings to Hecate on Wednesday, 2/26
New Moon: Your downloadable sleep meditation drops for subscribers. Listen for what wants to awaken in your dreams. Thursday, 2/27
Tarot Studio: A drop in class on tarot for subscribers. All levels welcome. Theme: working with the unconscious. Link to join here. Mon, 03/03 6pm PST
Dreaming Together: Accountability Discussion
How have you been doing with our sleep hygiene, dreamwork project for Pisces season?
I started off strong with everything, then hit a few snags watching TV past my bedtime. However, I’ve been very consistent with journaling and meditating before bed, working with mugwort, writing my sleep intentions down in my dream journal, and writing my dreams down upon waking, even if I can only remember a few images.
What I’ve discovered is that…