Be willing to cause unhappiness...
Reading Group reminder + Witches Confluence pix and updates inside
Hey everyone! Just a reminder that we will find a way to stick together, care for each other, and devote ourselves to regenerating the life force of the earth no matter what happens.
This isn’t an “election email.” I haven’t had time to write one. But I also suspect that you’ve had enough texts, emails, and IG posts about it to last a lifetime. I, for one, am ready to get on with whatever comes next.
In the meantime, I have some words for you about what it means to deprioritize comfort in favor of liberation…
What happens when we stop making happiness our priority?
In Sara Ahmed’s essay, “A Killjoy Manifesto,” she talks about how, as feminists, we have to be willing to make people unhappy, even ourselves. She clarifies that making people unhappy is not the GOAL of feminism, but rather a byproduct.
You might make people unhappy if you point out injustice. You might make people unhappy if you don’t laugh at their jokes (made at the expense of others), or if you rock the boat at work.
People might be unhappy if you refuse to pretend that you are okay with things that are not okay.
People might prefer that you smile. If you don’t, people might feel uncomfortable. Ahmed says: get used to people being uncomfortable around you. It won’t kill you. Maybe you’ll learn to enjoy (some) people’s misery.
But it wouldn’t be YOU making people miserable, it would be your refusal to ignore the suffering caused by white supremacist, capitalist, patriarchal, colonial violence. Or, more accurately, it would be the violence itself that causes their discomfort.
Ahmed’s work encourages us to be willing to place the cause of suffering back where it belongs, not on the people who bring it up, but on the systems that caused the suffering in the first place.
The Killjoy Manifesto is particularly relevant now, as we approach the holiday season where many of you will be returning to family situations where you may be encouraged to swallow your own feelings in order to prevent other people from feeling uncomfortable.
If that sounds familiar, read this manifesto! Reading it is like an injection that gives you super human strength for tolerating the disapproval of others. (And maybe even reveling in it a little!)
We will be discussing this essay at our Language of the Birds Reading Group tomorrow, Wednesday evening (11/6), at 6pm.
Side note: it will be a great place to decompress with likeminded folks after the you-know-what. Looking forward to seeing you there!
P.S. A link to the text, the Zoom, and questions for closer reading are available for subscribers at the bottom of this message. Scroll down. xo
Fun at the Witches Confluence!
I didn’t do a great job of taking pictures at the Witches’ Confluence this past weekend, because I was too busy enjoying myself! Luckily, some folks were kind enough to take pics and post them on the internet so I could relive the fun.
If you didn’t get a chance to go this year, I hope you can make it next year! Being around that many other witches is a beautiful way to refill your cup and feel a sense of belonging. And it’s tremendously fun! Everyone is dressed in their magical gear, pentacles a blazing. And they all have a great sense of humor. Witches are a DELIGHT!
Thank you SO MUCH to all the wonderful folks who came up and said hi at the event. I felt so recharged and inspired by all the folks who let me know that my work means something to you. You are the wind in my sails, and each one of you is a blessing!
Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again!